searching for the dock connector

:-(
i'm spending much more time than i budgeted just to search for the right iPod connector/cradle and pinout information. It looks like no one produces a connector that has:

1 line-out
2 power to feed the iPod
3 some sort of signal to indicate that the iPod is on

the first two are easy but no cable (yet) provides the third one. The signal is available on the iPod, but again no cable provides that.

At this point i have to options: buy the apple $40 dock and use it for parts, i saw a picture on the web and the connector has all the pins; or buy the belkin iPod adapter and hope that the pin 21 (accessory indicator) can be used to detect the iPod.
This link contains useful information about the belkin unit. Both of them are about the same price.
A third option is do more research, i think i will spend one more day in research for this.

here is a link that contains the most complete set of information (directly or as links) about the iPod dock connector.